Saturday, May 22, 2010


"you have a right to kill me. but u have no right to call me a murderer. u have no right to judge me.

its impossible, in words, to describe what is necessary, to those who donot know what horror means.

Horror. horror has a face. and u must make a friend of horror. horror and moral terror are ur friends. if they are not, then they r enemies to be feared. they are truely.... Enemies.

i remember, when i was with special forces. it seems a thousand centuries ago. we went to a camp to innoculate children. we left the camp after we had innoculated the children for polio. and this old man came running after us. he was crying; he cudnt say. we went back there. and they had come and hacked off every innoculated arm.

there they were in a pile.... a pile of... little arms.

and, i remember, i...i... i cried... i wept like.. like some grandmother. i wanted to tear my teeth out. i didnt know what i wanted to do.

and i wanted to remember. i never wanted to forget. i never want to forget....

and then i realized. like i was shot. like i was shot with a diamond bullet right through my forehead. and i thought " my god. the genius of that. the genius.... the will.. to do that. Perfect.. Genuine.. Complete.. Crystalline... Pure."

then i realized they were stronger than me because they could stand this. they were not monsters. these were men.these were trained cadres. these men who fought with their hearts. who have families. who have children. who are filled with love. but they have the strength.... the strength to do that....

you have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primodal instincts to kill, without feeling, without passion..... without judgement.... without judgement...

because... its Judgement that defeats us.... "

- Marlon Brando

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Everything or Nothing

Not a very long time ago, i feel i was naive enough to believe that world/people exist in black and white. That they are either good or bad. I thought there was always a line dividing the two sides of a coin.

In hindsight, i guess that is a model of a perfect world. a world governed not by emotions, but by mathematical logic. the world which we call heaven...

Unfortunately, our world is imperfect. composed of imperfect beings :) we are used to living in fractions because most of us donot have the will to completely support what our heart and mind believes in. The need to conform gradually weakens our will. This is one of the most basic reasons why mankind is where it is. Instead of individuality, we support a hive-mind. Why ?? Because we donot have to strength to survive alone in this world we helped create. Our ancestors had a profound foresight :) How to save people who were not good enough to secure their place in the world ?

Simple... make it immoral for people to please themselves without thinking about their "brothers and sisters". Humility, Brotherhood, God, Faith... the spellings are different, the meaning is one. Preservation of unity that gives an average strength to a community, composed of few creators and a lot of feeders. The second handers. The weak.

Many who read this will find my thinking cynical.

What i want to say is : Each of us is given one life. Its our responsiblity what we make of it. That we live it.

Give back a little more to life than we take from it.
There is only so far the fractions will carry us :)