Thursday, January 29, 2009

He had a lot of trouble with taste. Often his thoughts were not tasty. There were no effective partitions in his mind. What he saw and learned touched everything else he knew. Some of the combinations were hard to live with. But he could not anticipate them, could not block and repress. His learned value of decency and propriety tagged along, shocked at his associations, appalled at his dreams; sorry that in the bone arena of his skull there were no forts for what he loved. His associations came at the speed of light, his value judgments were at the pace of responsive reading. They could never keep up and direct his thinking.
He viewed his mentality as grotesque but useful. There was nothing he could do about it.