fuck it..

everyday i look into the mirror.... and see someone else staring back at me.

this is NOT what i was meant to be... or was i ?? smoking.... drinking... doping... this isnt me...
wtf am i trying to hide from ?? what do i constantly run from ? myself or the person who i have become ?
i cannot believe it has all come down to this.... how could i have fucked myself this way ??
why dont i have the will to become the best i can ?? this shudnt be happening....
THIS wasnt i had in mind when i took over my reins.... how can it all be going SO wrong ??
godammit...

i know u r looking down at me.. and laughing... well matey... FUCK YOU... u know me... i aint going down yet brother... i'll live on my terms and not yours.... you keep bringing on the shit... we'll see who laughs last....

I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love that I knew I would miss
But now she's gone, even though I hold her tight
I lost my love, my life that night.

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?

- Last Kiss ( Pearl Jam )