Saturday, May 19, 2012

I have always been an outsider..... an observer even in my own life. Some might think that is not even possible :)

From an early age, I have been a catalyst to people around me. Few words of mine would make people ascend or implode. I only realize it now in hindsight.

Sometimes for personal gain, most of the time based on sheer mood, I could change the entire thought process of an individual. Women find it charming, men find it inspirational. I find it disturbing.

But i have met few people who could see through me.... they are the scariest. What does a man with power desire ? More power... and fear ? Someone immune to that power.

Still... being an outsider has been.... illuminating. Obsering a system from the outside gives you a different kind of perspective.... like watching an army of ants building a hill.

Again facing a break up because lack of intimacy.  Have been repeatedly told I am not THERE.....
If only I could say.... " YOU are not here ".

There is no such thing like a free meal... :)

"They keep making the same stupid mistakes."
"They ? So you see yourself different from other people ? "
".. I didnt mean it that way. But of course... I am. What can I do about it ?"
~The man from earth.

Friday, December 30, 2011


Death and I, we have a history together.

There are days when my Grandfather's memories stir. He was a pillar of strength, silent fortitude... of truth and righteousness even when he faced the worst humanity had to offer. And I struggled to disappoint him at every turn of my life. Just out of spite for people whose expectations were always growing with everything I achieved.
Instead of a mother and a father, I had him, the best of both. And I did not realize his importance until he was taken. Its ironical; now that he is gone, I am wracked with guilt everytime I remember why I failed him. Hatred for people is never greater than the love for one person; if only I had realized this in time.

There are days when I remember that I was only 45 minutes away from where he lay dying. Without me. And I could not get there in time. Took me years to realize, that day I did not fail him. I failed myself. And I would live with that guilt for the rest of my life.

We will meet soon Papa. I hope it would not be meaningless to apologize then.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

As our lips touched, as the warmth of her breath drove away the cold, i realized the words were finally here.
But the moment rendered those words redundant. As we looked in eachother's eyes..... she smiled and said, "i know" :)

When you are in love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams. ~ Dr. Seuss

Friday, December 23, 2011


"We should not deal with life, death and judgement. Many who live, deserve death. Many who died, deserved life. Can we give life back ? Not even the wisest of us can foresee what fate has in store for us.
What we can, and should, deal in, is pity."

Few months ago, I would have slapped anyone who said this to me.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Battlecry !!

Probability is replaced by inevitability when you cross the threshold of what is considered humanly accomplishable. Don't be just a man; become a force of nature. Perfect. Genuine. Complete. Crystalline. Pure.

Raise yourself above the lusts.

Wake up.