anger, frustration, jealousy..... utter hatred...

i have been stupid in all my time with her. the moment which came yesterday, i had feared for almost everyday i spent with her. and now when the moment is upon me, i just refuse to accept it.... i just wish it weren't true.... i just wish i'd fall asleep and never ever wake up. maybe i'll do that..

i still dont understand my attraction towards her... its a passion... a want without any logic attached to it... why ? i ask myself...why her ? and why so much ?

and suddenly it all becomes so clear to me. a dozen of people interact with her and no one sees what she really is... all the good in her. i manage to see it.... and it makes me feel good about myself...

i guess i really do love her.... she makes me want to be a better man...