why does it have to this way ? why am i so cold ? how can i hurt a person in the most ruthlessly calculative way ? what made me like this ? why is forgivness so hard for me ? why has sorry become a useless word ? why ?

why can i not break the codes i live by ? are they so absolute ? does pity has no place in my soul ?

it feels as if i am cutting both my hands to please my principles :( how does a person choose between what he likes and all the rules he has set for himself ? this is not fair.....

to forget will be lying to myself and i will be unable to face myself ever for the rest of my life...

not to forget will be to slowly kill myself...

i feel my soul and mind being ripped apart....

it hurts so much... so much...

much MUCH more than it would ever hurt that person...

what do i do ? oh god what do i DO ?

i never wanted to be a stone...