Wednesday, May 23, 2007

one pillar gone......

i have been to too many funerals.

my grandfather died a few weeks ago. he was probably the best man i had ever known. he brought me up since i was 4 years old. i had been away from him since 5 years. we did not talk much. it was my fault because i knew he'd have listened if only i had talked. there was so much i wanted to tell him. i'd have told him that now i understood why he forced me to do the things i hated. i'd have told him how much i liked the books he always brought me. i'd have told him how much i appreciated his always being patient with me.i'd have told him how sorry i was for everytime i refused to listen to what he said.i'd have told him that everytime i failed him, it hurt me much more than it hurt him. i'd have told him....... i could never love him even though i wanted to with all my heart...... that, i could never be a son. there were so many things i wanted to tell him. now, there are so many things i will never be able to tell him.


Hamunaptra said...

that was touching, sorry to hear about your grandfather, but I'm sure he knows everything you must have wanted to tell him, and didn't get a chance to..

Winnie the poohi said...

Adding to hamun. U can still tell and he can still listen.. but u will realise that he already knows.

Given his understanding of you he must have figured out everything before you did.

And also, he always stays in ur memories.. as long as you remember him, he is alive atleast for you