i have been to too many funerals.
my grandfather died a few weeks ago. he was probably the best man i had ever known. he brought me up since i was 4 years old. i had been away from him since 5 years. we did not talk much. it was my fault because i knew he'd have listened if only i had talked. there was so much i wanted to tell him. i'd have told him that now i understood why he forced me to do the things i hated. i'd have told him how much i liked the books he always brought me. i'd have told him how much i appreciated his always being patient with me.i'd have told him how sorry i was for everytime i refused to listen to what he said.i'd have told him that everytime i failed him, it hurt me much more than it hurt him. i'd have told him....... i could never love him even though i wanted to with all my heart...... that, i could never be a son. there were so many things i wanted to tell him. now, there are so many things i will never be able to tell him.