"We should not deal with life, death and judgement. Many who live, deserve death. Many who died, deserved life. Can we give life back ? Not even the wisest of us can foresee what fate has in store for us.
What we can, and should, deal in, is pity."
Few months ago, I would have slapped anyone who said this to me.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
Battlecry !!
Probability is replaced by inevitability when you cross the threshold of what is considered humanly accomplishable. Don't be just a man; become a force of nature. Perfect. Genuine. Complete. Crystalline. Pure.
Raise yourself above the lusts.
Wake up.
Sunday, October 02, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Weakness
The last few weeks have been illuminating. I have found out how power corrupts people; including me.
At work I have been brilliant : at my tasks which should have been enough for any normal person; but also at undermining others' abilities... very VERY subtly. So smoothly, that it feels sometimes i am doing it sub-consciously. Almost like a second skin. No body understands it around me. To them I am just this trouble-shooter.
But beneath a friendly exterior which smiles and pleases everyone with quick witty comments, there lies a cold interior, laced with contempt for people of lesser ability.
And if one might dig deeper, there runs a line of weakness. A fear of failure.
This weakness counters all the ethics i THINK i believe in. In fact, I am 99% sure i do. But then when i judge my actions at the end everyday, I feel i break them ever so calmly, so carefully that no one realizes what I did. Not even me until i think over it.
On a sub-conscious level, I have played life as a game without rules where winning is everything. I have always had what I wanted, maybe not when I wanted it, but i got it. And i did everything i could do to get it. But earlier they were harmless things. A boy's needs are only so much.
Now, on the other hand, I risk hurting people badly. I can scar people for life and not give it a second thought to achieve my goals. I perceive myself as a threat to people around me.
Is it my fault ? That society has made this a rat-eat-rat race ?
Or am i justified in making a stair made up of corpses to the top ?
Seems pretty sad, that even with so many friends I have no one to talk about this. I suppose this the price I must pay for my devilry.
If only life were simpler.
At work I have been brilliant : at my tasks which should have been enough for any normal person; but also at undermining others' abilities... very VERY subtly. So smoothly, that it feels sometimes i am doing it sub-consciously. Almost like a second skin. No body understands it around me. To them I am just this trouble-shooter.
But beneath a friendly exterior which smiles and pleases everyone with quick witty comments, there lies a cold interior, laced with contempt for people of lesser ability.
And if one might dig deeper, there runs a line of weakness. A fear of failure.
This weakness counters all the ethics i THINK i believe in. In fact, I am 99% sure i do. But then when i judge my actions at the end everyday, I feel i break them ever so calmly, so carefully that no one realizes what I did. Not even me until i think over it.
On a sub-conscious level, I have played life as a game without rules where winning is everything. I have always had what I wanted, maybe not when I wanted it, but i got it. And i did everything i could do to get it. But earlier they were harmless things. A boy's needs are only so much.
Now, on the other hand, I risk hurting people badly. I can scar people for life and not give it a second thought to achieve my goals. I perceive myself as a threat to people around me.
Is it my fault ? That society has made this a rat-eat-rat race ?
Or am i justified in making a stair made up of corpses to the top ?
Seems pretty sad, that even with so many friends I have no one to talk about this. I suppose this the price I must pay for my devilry.
If only life were simpler.
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